Sometimes I have to wonder about myself

There are several small farms around where we live, and deer, in general, can be a big problem around this time of year.

When we think of deer, we often think of Bambi’s poor mother and the fact that some of them get to pull Santa’s sleigh.  I mean, who could dare speak ill of Dasher and Dancer?

That’s all well and good, but the fact is, they don’t look both ways when they cross the street, they carry the nastiest ticks, and they feel like they can just eat whatever they want.  Rude, right?

Well, it is the “garden state” after all, and there are quite a few deer that make their way onto the open fields on the local farms in search of some grub. So, logically, the local farmers counter with the wolves.

Yes, you heard me right.  Wolves.

So, cut to me, driving down a local stretch of road at just around twilight the other night, when I look ahead of me and see a deer standing motionless on the edge of a field just staring straight ahead.  I’ve got nothing going on, so I slow down and look to see if I can find the reason this deer is frozen in place and staring out at something more distracting than the noise and presence of a 94 Jeep Wrangler.  I park my Jeep a bit down the road and walk to within about 20 yards of the deer.

Is that a wolf?! What the hell is a wolf doing out here in plain sight? I wondered.  He’s just standing there, too.

So, now I’m just standing there and so is this deer.  We’re both just staring at this wolf that is frozen in place in the middle of this field.  Then I turn to look at the deer who has, at some point, turned to look at me.  When we finally lock eyes, I say, “Is that wolf made out of wood? Dude, that wolf is made out of wood!”

Then, I turn around and get back into my Jeep and get ready to drive off.  The deer is still standing there, though.  He’s still completely frazzled by the sight of this wolf, fake or not.  When I start the car, he looks over at me again. Then he runs away, back into the woods.

Stupid deer.