A Man and His Dog 3/18/18

WATSON: Remember when Daniel Day-Lewis was president and he was talk—

ME: That was Abraham Lincoln, and Daniel Day-Lewis is an actor who played him.

WATSON: Whatever…So, remember when Daniel was talking to this guy, and the guy was like, “You look like you have aged ten years in this last year alone.”?

ME: Uh…yes. And?

WATSON: Nothing. That was just a good scene, that’s all.

ME: Right.

WATSON: I mean, I think you look great for your age!

ME: For my age?

WATSON: You have two children old enough to vote. That takes a while.

ME: I wish it had taken longer, if you want to know the truth.

WATSON: Yeah, everybody says that. I know what you mean though. One year I’m seven, the next I’m a fourteen year-old struggling with hormones, and by Christmas I’ll be old enough to drink. It all goes by so fast. I could be in one of those old ALPO commercials. “Here’s a handsome fella named Watson. He’s three years old. That’s twenty-one to you and me!”

ME: Thank you for the calculus lesson, Lorne Greene.

(Pause)

When you lay it out like that, though, I can see how you’d want to make the most of the day.

WATSON: That’s why dogs live in the moment, baby. You should try it.

ME: Yeah, I probably should.

(Pause)

WATSON: But if we were talking future, you know who I want to play me in the movie of us after I’m gone. Dan—

ME: Daniel Day-Lewis. Right. Gotcha.

WATSON: That guy can be anyone!

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