A Man and His Dog 3/18/18

WATSON: Remember when Daniel Day-Lewis was president and he was talk—

ME: That was Abraham Lincoln, and Daniel Day-Lewis is an actor who played him.

WATSON: Whatever…So, remember when Daniel was talking to this guy, and the guy was like, “You look like you have aged ten years in this last year alone.”?

ME: Uh…yes. And?

WATSON: Nothing. That was just a good scene, that’s all.

ME: Right.

WATSON: I mean, I think you look great for your age!

ME: For my age?

WATSON: You have two children old enough to vote. That takes a while.

ME: I wish it had taken longer, if you want to know the truth.

WATSON: Yeah, everybody says that. I know what you mean though. One year I’m seven, the next I’m a fourteen year-old struggling with hormones, and by Christmas I’ll be old enough to drink. It all goes by so fast. I could be in one of those old ALPO commercials. “Here’s a handsome fella named Watson. He’s three years old. That’s twenty-one to you and me!”

ME: Thank you for the calculus lesson, Lorne Greene.

(Pause)

When you lay it out like that, though, I can see how you’d want to make the most of the day.

WATSON: That’s why dogs live in the moment, baby. You should try it.

ME: Yeah, I probably should.

(Pause)

WATSON: But if we were talking future, you know who I want to play me in the movie of us after I’m gone. Dan—

ME: Daniel Day-Lewis. Right. Gotcha.

WATSON: That guy can be anyone!

I’M A FAN FRIDAYS!

Hey everybody! So, you’ve probably heard by now that the TV sitcom “Roseanne” is coming back to ABC with the same cast, yes?

Well, likewise, I am bringing back one of my favorite things: “I’m a Fan Fridays!”

Every Friday, I share with you something I am a fan of. It’s that simple and guaranteed to brighten your day.

This week, the Broadway show ONCE has been on my mind a lot. So, I want to share with you one of the many beautiful songs in this wonderful show.

“Falling Slowly” (the Academy Award-winning song from the movie of the same name) is played here by Arthur Darvill (aka Rory, from “Doctor Who”) and the London cast. It’s a wonderful performance. Enjoy it and send it around if you think someone else could use it. That’s what we’re here for. Cheers!

“A Man and His Dog” 3-14-2018

WATSON: Hey, you’ve seemed sad to me lately. Are you feeling sad?

ME: I have been sad lately, yes. Sometimes it can be hard to shake.

WATSON: I hear you.

ME: Sometimes, it really does cross your mind that people would just be better off if I weren’t around.

WATSON: Excuse me?

ME: People die every day, and everyone goes on. People go on.

WATSON: First of all, shut your mouth. Second of all, I wouldn’t go on. I don’t care about what other people would do—I would never go on.

In the mornings, I would sit by the glass doors facing the sunrise, and I would look for you all morning. Then, when the light shifted to the west, I would run to the couch and look out the window for you, whining and crying, hoping every person that passed would turn into you. I’d hope, then be disappointed. Hope, then be disappointed. But, I’d keep hoping.

Then, I would sleep a few hours and do it all again, every day, until I died. I would most definitely not go on. Do not put me through that. Do you hear me?…I need you to acknowledge.

ME: Acknowledged

WATSON: I love you, you dumbhead.

ME: I love you too.

(Pause)

WATSON: Why do the channels keep changing? Am I sitting on the remote again?!